Your review is very straight to the point yet I don't see it as enough to
justify the Final Rating of 8. As sho pointed out, you need to juice-up your
review.
Ahh... Silent Mobius... I remember I used to watch it... though I can't remember
anything about it... therefore I must've not enjoyed it.
Its funny how you made the whole Presentation segment sound so great yet it
detailed the DVD much more than the show itself. Just
goes to show how far apart your word skill is from mine.
Lots of conflicting stuff here and there... you should really try avoiding
superlatives unless you'd give it a 9 or 10.
I still see lots of things to improve on but you should start with determining
how you will describe and score each segment. Your review gave me the feeling
that you really liked it yet you gave it a particularly lower score. Things like
these usually happen until you can determine for yourself what is your own
personal gauge for ranking and rating the story, art, sound and presentation of
a title.
Quote by ArtificialRaindrop
I'm not sure why you think it is a rant (I don't read minds), but I really don't
think this is even close to a rant because Milkiyo gave good and bad points, and
never really spoke longer than necessary on the cons of the game. She didn't
dwell on the negatives, but rather took the time to rationally explain why they
were problems to her and even balanced them out with things she thought were
done well. There is nothing loud or fanatical about it either. I'm not claiming
to be majoring in English by any means, I am just curious as to where you are
coming from with this.
I think you're cute and all but let me just point out that I said "more
LIKE a rant" and not "IS a rant"... I think they mean different
things.
Quote by shoujoboiThere is improvement
over the last and your willingness to take on these criticisms to make your
review better shows that you are taking this seriously. But the question is...
what does King Jak have to say about all of this?
King Jak believes that your openness to criticism and effort to improve is
commendable. I still think you should write an anime review...
So for now I think I'll grant you membership in the MT-Review crew. Here's your
cap and nametag...
Your review is informative yet it fails to convince one on how good the game is.
First off, your review sounds more like a rant which is one thing we should
avoid when making a review. Another thing is the flow of your review, you need
to structure it more so the the information you want to communicate is clearly
laid out and it does not appear to be just a constant burst of commentaries.
Also note that when writing a review, always consider the reader as to having no
familiarity with the title you're reviewing. When giving out details, elaborate
a little then proceed on your analysis and reaction to said detail.
All in all though you wrote a good review. Not great but good. If I were to
decide, I'd suggest a rewrite of this review THEN I will consider you a member
of the MT-Review staff. Either that or you can write another one but for an
anime title.
Out of all review this is the one that certainly proved to me YOU ARE
Shoujoboy... for real, bro.
Quote: Okay, I see the bits of
"humour" you tried to put in. Valiant effort
=)
You spelled humor the un-American way...
Notice that sho gets all serious when he's reviewing something he liked very
much... the detail breakdown and flow of information is distinct from his usual
review.
Quote by shoujoboyA show you rated as
average ended up as the Anime Spotlight on the Maigetsu? Where were you to
protest that decision? For shame.
Aside of that, its the type of review I expect from you... although I've
somewhat forgot what I expect of you since you NEVER WRITE! Well written and
right on my level. Davidh01 just seems to write over my head, Jakulito seems to
baffle me, but you and I seem to have the same writing style overall (minus you
don't attempt humor like I do... key word attempt). It must be insulting to be
compared to me, BUT THAT'S TOO BAD! I did go there.
And as for your opening questions "Do you have a grudge against someone? Do
you hate them enough to want to send them to Hell?"... let's just say you'd
better hope I never pull the red string. Just kidding you know I love you, it's
Jak that has to worry.
I opted not to post immediately waiting for a little more interaction from you,
Maple but I guess I'd have to just post now.
Anyways on to my rev-rant... wait, I ain't got a rev-rant... I'd just be saying
what sho said. And no, you don't write like sho. He's conceited. Good review,
Maple. I'd suggest a little humour since I get a sense of reading a brochure
with this one, I ain't referring to the content just the feeling.
It is a well known fact that US versions of Final Fantasy games are toned down.
You don't get tutorials and you start out in Hard Mode in JP versions of every
Final Fantasy game. If you don't believe try it for yourself. I ain't saying its
hard 'cause you can't understand it, it's hard because the game is
hard.
You have a few typos, sho.
Also, I expected shoujoboy be the first to comment on every review but looks
like he was absent when this one was present.
Quote by shoujoboyOk look, I was trying
to help you. Anybody who passed 5th grade English would have seen your original
review and told their teacher on you. But you just couldn't take constructive
criticism could you? First you say "I'm not changing my review to appease
the masses" then you subsequently delete that comment and then call me the
"comma police". Whether you wanted to call it proper grammar or not is
irrelevant. Your review was unreadable. But you decided to delete some commas...
but it appears you pretty much deleted them at random. Not only that but your
comma count still sits at 119!
Learn to take criticism and use it to make your writing better. Don't get angry
about it and get all defensive. I've written over 40 reviews and still get
corrected and advice from people, and that means a whole hell of a lot to me and
has helped me tremendously as a writer. You'd do well to do the
same.
I'm JaK and I approve of that message. So chill out!
Comma usage aside, I'd like to point out your story segment. Yet it is generally
practical to give the readers' a feel of the story, note that it should be done
without providing much spoilers. In your Story section here, you basically
summarized the story which is not recommended. Try describing the story more
without giving out so much details.
Aside from that, all your other sections are fine. Your wordplay is also very
good and you're review is very convincing.
I suggest you edit the Story section a bit and leave out the spoilers.
Excellent work. Like I said in my PM, I can't wait to see you upload this one.
Looks like my MT-Review crewmates already said everything I had to say so I'm
just gonna give a nice congratulations on this one.
Now I wonder if you're already drafting your next review...
I don't how or why but your review reminds me of mine (I mean the writing style
and sorts). If you don't agree, fine. Let our lives proceed onwards without a
hint of this comment.
I'd skip on the Theoritical Proper English usage lectures as it seems you've
been schooled on that subject already.
As pointed out already you should always assume that the reader is unfamiliar
with that title you are reviewing. Doing so will help out some people that go
scratch their heads asking themselves "What is KEY?". Another thing
you should note is to know when enough is enough. Try to trim down on the plot
and character analysis bit to support your personal choice on what should or
should've been.
I'm not sure what reason you have for writing:
Quote by Lariel I'm really sorry if you
dislike my opinion of Clannad or my words somehow offended you greatly, but
that's how I think. Or perhaps I'm venting my frustrations out in this
review.
Please point out my mistakes and don't hesitate to be
critical.
... but if its because you've read the past reviews and seen shoujoboi drop
bombs then rest assured that he won't bite.
I've seen this show and I agree that the mechs look like twisted spoons with
stuff sticking out and that definitely turned me off. I'm not really a fan of
this show, either that I watched and thought about Dual too much or the show
just didn't appeal to me at all.
Anyways onto your review; Clear and concise as always. I've noticed you're not
the type that takes out a certain something and exacerbate the details to
justify a certain score. I really like that. Your "masterful word
usage" as shoujoboy puts it, describes the show well in your perspective
without going out of your way to just show what's good or what's bad.
Quote: You are an idiot! Death Note
deserves a 10! I will printscreen your review and post it in 4chan and put a
caption saying "NOOB!" L is GOD! You
suck!
I was expecting a comment like that but looks like nothin's turn up
yet.
I already reviewed this damn thing so no comment! Read my review THEN punch a
puppy!
Oh so you ARE capable of human emotions. Go Satan... take him away!
But on to the review; I've never seen you this passionate about something
before. Excellent work on voicing out your thoughts. I think this is your best
review ever.
And as promised... a Kodomo no Jikan with a big 40 wallpaper will be available
soon.
Okay, the content was good but I'm just getting this weird feeling that we're
not getting the whole story...
There's no actual communication going on between you and the reader. Also, too
much details just drowned your review and killed it... justifying a score of 9
by wiki information isn't helping.
Hey, you got skills... how 'bout reviewing something you didn't like...
sometimes it helps a reviewer get a better grip of things.
See, there you go again. All parts were traditional shoujoboy but then we get to
the early sound part and you replace your descriptive figures of speech with
plain, in your face adjectives.
Should I say "well done"... naaaahhhh... you're conceited. You already
know you're good...
Nicely made review! Very informative, but you should try holding back some
details. Some might consider them spoilers. Also, I feel the later part of the
first section is a little redundant, the part about the humour attributes of the
title and the details.
Congratulations on reaching double-digits on reviews!
Your review is very straight to the point yet I don't see it as enough to justify the Final Rating of 8. As sho pointed out, you need to juice-up your review.
Ahh... Silent Mobius... I remember I used to watch it... though I can't remember anything about it... therefore I must've not enjoyed it.
Its funny how you made the whole Presentation segment sound so great yet it detailed the DVD much more than the show itself.
Just
goes to show how far apart your word skill is from mine.
Lots of conflicting stuff here and there... you should really try avoiding superlatives unless you'd give it a 9 or 10.
I still see lots of things to improve on but you should start with determining how you will describe and score each segment. Your review gave me the feeling that you really liked it yet you gave it a particularly lower score. Things like these usually happen until you can determine for yourself what is your own personal gauge for ranking and rating the story, art, sound and presentation of a title.
I think you're cute and all but let me just point out that I said "more LIKE a rant" and not "IS a rant"... I think they mean different things.
King Jak believes that your openness to criticism and effort to improve is commendable. I still think you should write an anime review...
So for now I think I'll grant you membership in the MT-Review crew. Here's your cap and nametag...
*wear*
I'm sure that isn't always the case... such as this one.
Gonna be lookin forward on that one.
Your review is informative yet it fails to convince one on how good the game is. First off, your review sounds more like a rant which is one thing we should avoid when making a review. Another thing is the flow of your review, you need to structure it more so the the information you want to communicate is clearly laid out and it does not appear to be just a constant burst of commentaries. Also note that when writing a review, always consider the reader as to having no familiarity with the title you're reviewing. When giving out details, elaborate a little then proceed on your analysis and reaction to said detail.
All in all though you wrote a good review. Not great but good. If I were to decide, I'd suggest a rewrite of this review THEN I will consider you a member of the MT-Review staff. Either that or you can write another one but for an anime title.
Shoujoboy levels up!
Out of all review this is the one that certainly proved to me YOU ARE Shoujoboy... for real, bro.
You spelled humor the un-American way...
Notice that sho gets all serious when he's reviewing something he liked very much... the detail breakdown and flow of information is distinct from his usual review.
I opted not to post immediately waiting for a little more interaction from you, Maple but I guess I'd have to just post now.
Anyways on to my rev-rant... wait, I ain't got a rev-rant... I'd just be saying what sho said. And no, you don't write like sho. He's conceited. Good review, Maple. I'd suggest a little humour since I get a sense of reading a brochure with this one, I ain't referring to the content just the feeling.
I love you, Maple... sho's a liar.
It is a well known fact that US versions of Final Fantasy games are toned down. You don't get tutorials and you start out in Hard Mode in JP versions of every Final Fantasy game. If you don't believe try it for yourself. I ain't saying its hard 'cause you can't understand it, it's hard because the game is hard.
You have a few typos, sho.
Also, I expected shoujoboy be the first to comment on every review but looks like he was absent when this one was present.
I'm JaK and I approve of that message. So chill out!
Wow that was fast. Now I'll for an action.
Comma usage aside, I'd like to point out your story segment. Yet it is generally practical to give the readers' a feel of the story, note that it should be done without providing much spoilers. In your Story section here, you basically summarized the story which is not recommended. Try describing the story more without giving out so much details.
Aside from that, all your other sections are fine. Your wordplay is also very good and you're review is very convincing.
I suggest you edit the Story section a bit and leave out the spoilers.
Excellent work. Like I said in my PM, I can't wait to see you upload this one. Looks like my MT-Review crewmates already said everything I had to say so I'm just gonna give a nice congratulations on this one.
Now I wonder if you're already drafting your next review...
I don't how or why but your review reminds me of mine (I mean the writing style and sorts). If you don't agree, fine. Let our lives proceed onwards without a hint of this comment.
I'd skip on the Theoritical Proper English usage lectures as it seems you've been schooled on that subject already.
As pointed out already you should always assume that the reader is unfamiliar with that title you are reviewing. Doing so will help out some people that go scratch their heads asking themselves "What is KEY?". Another thing you should note is to know when enough is enough. Try to trim down on the plot and character analysis bit to support your personal choice on what should or should've been.
I'm not sure what reason you have for writing:
... but if its because you've read the past reviews and seen shoujoboi drop bombs then rest assured that he won't bite.
I've seen this show and I agree that the mechs look like twisted spoons with stuff sticking out and that definitely turned me off. I'm not really a fan of this show, either that I watched and thought about Dual too much or the show just didn't appeal to me at all.
Anyways onto your review; Clear and concise as always. I've noticed you're not the type that takes out a certain something and exacerbate the details to justify a certain score. I really like that. Your "masterful word usage" as shoujoboy puts it, describes the show well in your perspective without going out of your way to just show what's good or what's bad.
Excellent review, mate.
And sho... you didn't tell me you had a pet.
I was expecting a comment like that but looks like nothin's turn up yet.
I already reviewed this damn thing so no comment! Read my review THEN punch a puppy!
An adjective count of approximately 45 is not equal to a Review Rating of 9.67.
Your review is short and sweet yet it lacks that juicy and meaty facts that reinforce your thoughts.
Oh so you ARE capable of human emotions. Go Satan... take him away!
But on to the review; I've never seen you this passionate about something before. Excellent work on voicing out your thoughts. I think this is your best review ever.
And as promised... a Kodomo no Jikan with a big 40 wallpaper will be available soon.
You have a habit of providing more trivia than supportive info.
Come on, man! This is F'n Lucky Star! I'd write a thesis if I had the time just to say how much I liked this show!
Okay, the content was good but I'm just getting this weird feeling that we're not getting the whole story...
There's no actual communication going on between you and the reader. Also, too much details just drowned your review and killed it... justifying a score of 9 by wiki information isn't helping.
Hey, you got skills... how 'bout reviewing something you didn't like... sometimes it helps a reviewer get a better grip of things.
See, there you go again. All parts were traditional shoujoboy but then we get to the early sound part and you replace your descriptive figures of speech with plain, in your face adjectives.
Should I say "well done"... naaaahhhh... you're conceited. You already know you're good...
Nicely made review! Very informative, but you should try holding back some details. Some might consider them spoilers. Also, I feel the later part of the first section is a little redundant, the part about the humour attributes of the title and the details.
Congratulations on reaching double-digits on reviews!